#tipsfornewmoms #postpartum
Becoming a mother is a wonderful feeling and experience in a woman's life but it is full of changes and challenges too. Everyday one learns new things. Everything is new specially for a first time mom. After being through a nine month Pregnancy, which sometimes in itself is very physically and emotionally draining and also child birth, which is not easy in anyway, one is bound to feel exhausted. Wether it's a C section delivery or normal one in both cases a new mom's body is in pain and needs care and recovery. Besides, now the baby is no longer in the womb he or she needs care too. It takes time before everything settles down well.
When I became a mom, 9 years back through a c section delivery, even when I was relieved to come back home from the hospital after 5 days I and my family both felt that there were few things which we should have planned and prepared for in advance. It would have saved us many small and big troubles which we faced later. Also there were many things we learned.
I have tried to compile and share as many tips as I can recollect from my experience, which can help new mom's and families to get better prepared for the new babies home coming.
Please keep in mind these few points first.
1. All new mom's and families want to give our new borns the latest and the fanciest of things when they are born but easy and comfortable are the two key words around which everything will revolve for at least a couple of months. Feed, sleep, pee, poop, hygeine maintenance and crying for N number of reasons (hunger, getting wet, colic, insecurities etc) will be most important so buy things which are most needed and comfortable. Else many things will be wasted and left unused.
2. Each family has different set of rituals and traditions for a new born and new mom's home coming but keeping them to a minimal on a babies arrival as giving time for things to settle is what is most needed. Rest and Recovery for mom and settlement for baby should be the top priority.
3. A new born brings lots of happiness to a family and even relatives, friends, neighbours are really excited to meet the baby and gift him or her things too. If possible one should try and initially let only a few close people know about the baby birth as this helps less people visiting the hospital, there by reducing chances of infections and undue disturbance and comments which sometimes are very hard for a new mother to accept. Also, even after coming back home, if many people are visiting daily, it becomes a difficult situation to handle. So, once baby and new mother settle down well is when people should come and meet them. Also when visitors come it's better to ask them politey to use hygeine measures like sanitizing hands before carrying the baby and not trying to kiss and all.
4. It is well known fact that many families in our country refrain from buying anything new for an unborn baby. Usually for first 40 days babies wear old clothes etc. It's up to personal choice to follow this rule and also family pressure is there but one thing is sure that once baby is born a new mom or even dad or many people can't just rush to the market for everything. In that case one needs to know what are the bare minimum essential that will be needed in first few days. According to me clothes (jhablas or even onesies and small sweaters as per the season), cloth nappies, diapers, toiletries, towels, napkins, cap, mittens, socks, rough clothes, baby wrapper, small bedsheets (for above and below the bed), mustard pillow, support pillows, feeding and sterlizing equipment, mosquito net etc are essential. These days one can actually order many things online so one can search for good options and buy from there or else someone has to physically buy these things before the new mom and infant comes back from the hospital.
Now let's come to some major points which need to be planned in advance:
1. Room setting: Once the new mom and baby are back from the hospital (even that much journey and movement is exhausting sometimes) they should be put up in a room which is airy, well ventilated, has access to morning sunshine, is not very noisy (traffic honking etc) and has both dim and bright lighting option which comes handy at night time. It's really good if the room has an attached bathroom as bathroom visits for mom as well as baby, bathing and massaging the baby and also washing clothes etc becomes easier. I know everyone has a different home setting and sometimes there is space constraint and also a pre decided place but my point is to prepare that place well for the infant and the mother. A neat and tidy room with a comfortable bed and mattress, curtains to cut off excess light, dust and noise and clean bedsheets with a small baby almirah or rack and not much extra furniture is in itself very relaxing.
2. The next important question is "where will the baby lie and sleep"?. In India mostly babies co sleep with their mother's so one can either go for a crib option where the Crib can be kept near the bed and can be shifted through wheels or else baby beds available in the market are a good option. They can be placed on the normal bed or even in the crib. Also even in the crib a mattress, mustard pillow, extra pillows, baby bedsheet, covering sheet, quilt etc needs to be placed. Baby beds usually come in beautiful colours with an appropriate baby mattress, pillows, bedsheet etc. One can choose as per the need. Also wet proof sheets should be placed in the crib and on the bed for handling peeing and pooping.
3. A baby almirah is one good thing to invest in before the baby comes back home. New borns need a change of nappies several times in a day and night too, also even the upper clothing needs to be changed sometimes. There is really lots of baby related small stuff that needs to be kept neatly and in reach for easy accesibility. In my case we had bought an almirah and used the lower shelf for things which were not frequently needed. In upper 2 shelves I had adjusted, clothes, napkins, nappies, cap, mittens, socks, cotton, rough clothes etc and lower ones were used for toiletries and medicines. Also in one rack were extra baby cover, bedsheets etc.
4. New borns feed on demand and almost many times during the day and night. By the time you leave the hospital you will get an idea of wether things like bottles, etc are needed or not. Also for breastfeeding mom's sometimes nipple shields, ointments, breast pump etc are needed. Some people can exclusively breast feed successfully while for others it can be a combination of formula and breastfeed or even formula only. So, if baby is exclusively breastfed then the mother will definitely feel tired and exhausted with all her healing too taking place simultaneously, so if you have bought a Pregnancy pillow then that will help you a lot, else try and take pillow support at your back and under the thighs while feeding. This way the new mom also take rest and feed in a relaxing position. If baby is formulae fed then before leaving the hospital consult the paediatrician there for a good formulae brand and how to prepare the feed and what quantity should be fed how many times a day. Also keep in mind that sterlization will be one main work that we need to do when baby is formulae fed. If you want you can buy a sterlizer or else bottles, nipples, cap and feeding equipment needs to be washed and boiled every time and stored so, best is to keep them in fridge in a clean basket and buy at least 2 sets.
5. My baby was born at the start of rainy season and a very important point I had missed was that there will be lot of baby laundry to be handled. Washing the laundry separately and also drying it up will need appropriate help and space and things like a stand or cloth hangers. So, it's better to plan for this thing specially when family help is less as this will add to ones troubles.
6. Massaging the mother and baby: this is a matter of personal choice and also wether you can get a good person to do that or not. Personally I have found that even before delivery if one enquires in the neighborhood about a good massage help for both baby (both massaging and bathing) and mom for at least initial few weeks, it not only helps the mother learn many things from that person's experience as later the mom can give massage and bath to baby on her own, it also helps a new mom to recover. I had lot of swelling and pain in my body after delivery and massaging carefully helped reduced it. It helped me become completely active in one week after the stiches were removed. We had prepared a special mustard oil for that and many people use ghee, almond oil, Coconut oil etc for this. Also I took my baths with warm water which had ajwain water boiled in it and that helped me relax a lot. Also another important point was that in many households new mom's are asked to refrain from bathing but believe me, once you are back home and if you take care of the stiches etc and bathe it is most relaxing and gives a fresh and clean feeling. Also because catheter is inserted after a c section in private area for urination and post Partum Bleeding is also there so cleaning it properly is very essential to avoid infections later.
Besides that a few more points are:
1. For a new mother taking care of her diet and water intake (I had taken warm boiled ajwain water for 1.5 months) etc is very essential for recovery and Breastfeeding both. Also never ignore the care that is needed with stiches as if some problem occurs there it can be a nightmare to handle.
2. Family and spouse support and help is very much needed by even the strongest of the women at this time so don't shy away in asking for it. Whenever you can, take rest and sleep or do something relaxing to keep sane as it is a very hectic phase both physically and emotionally.
3. Keeping in touch with your doctor and also a good paeditrician is very helpful in initial months and years as one has to regularly consult them for many things like vaccinations, colic, infections, feed etc for baby as well as for some gynecological problems for the lady. So being in touch helps.
Last but not try to be happy, and listen to good advice from well wishers while ignoring all the judging and unwarranted advice and comments from people that can spoil your mood and spirit.
Sorry for a lengthy post but these were the points I wanted to share from my experience so that it helps someone in need.
As a mother, I am still learning many things.
Image Courtsey: internet
Becoming a mother is a wonderful feeling and experience in a woman's life but it is full of changes and challenges too. Everyday one learns new things. Everything is new specially for a first time mom. After being through a nine month Pregnancy, which sometimes in itself is very physically and emotionally draining and also child birth, which is not easy in anyway, one is bound to feel exhausted. Wether it's a C section delivery or normal one in both cases a new mom's body is in pain and needs care and recovery. Besides, now the baby is no longer in the womb he or she needs care too. It takes time before everything settles down well.
When I became a mom, 9 years back through a c section delivery, even when I was relieved to come back home from the hospital after 5 days I and my family both felt that there were few things which we should have planned and prepared for in advance. It would have saved us many small and big troubles which we faced later. Also there were many things we learned.
I have tried to compile and share as many tips as I can recollect from my experience, which can help new mom's and families to get better prepared for the new babies home coming.
Please keep in mind these few points first.
1. All new mom's and families want to give our new borns the latest and the fanciest of things when they are born but easy and comfortable are the two key words around which everything will revolve for at least a couple of months. Feed, sleep, pee, poop, hygeine maintenance and crying for N number of reasons (hunger, getting wet, colic, insecurities etc) will be most important so buy things which are most needed and comfortable. Else many things will be wasted and left unused.
2. Each family has different set of rituals and traditions for a new born and new mom's home coming but keeping them to a minimal on a babies arrival as giving time for things to settle is what is most needed. Rest and Recovery for mom and settlement for baby should be the top priority.
3. A new born brings lots of happiness to a family and even relatives, friends, neighbours are really excited to meet the baby and gift him or her things too. If possible one should try and initially let only a few close people know about the baby birth as this helps less people visiting the hospital, there by reducing chances of infections and undue disturbance and comments which sometimes are very hard for a new mother to accept. Also, even after coming back home, if many people are visiting daily, it becomes a difficult situation to handle. So, once baby and new mother settle down well is when people should come and meet them. Also when visitors come it's better to ask them politey to use hygeine measures like sanitizing hands before carrying the baby and not trying to kiss and all.
4. It is well known fact that many families in our country refrain from buying anything new for an unborn baby. Usually for first 40 days babies wear old clothes etc. It's up to personal choice to follow this rule and also family pressure is there but one thing is sure that once baby is born a new mom or even dad or many people can't just rush to the market for everything. In that case one needs to know what are the bare minimum essential that will be needed in first few days. According to me clothes (jhablas or even onesies and small sweaters as per the season), cloth nappies, diapers, toiletries, towels, napkins, cap, mittens, socks, rough clothes, baby wrapper, small bedsheets (for above and below the bed), mustard pillow, support pillows, feeding and sterlizing equipment, mosquito net etc are essential. These days one can actually order many things online so one can search for good options and buy from there or else someone has to physically buy these things before the new mom and infant comes back from the hospital.
Now let's come to some major points which need to be planned in advance:
1. Room setting: Once the new mom and baby are back from the hospital (even that much journey and movement is exhausting sometimes) they should be put up in a room which is airy, well ventilated, has access to morning sunshine, is not very noisy (traffic honking etc) and has both dim and bright lighting option which comes handy at night time. It's really good if the room has an attached bathroom as bathroom visits for mom as well as baby, bathing and massaging the baby and also washing clothes etc becomes easier. I know everyone has a different home setting and sometimes there is space constraint and also a pre decided place but my point is to prepare that place well for the infant and the mother. A neat and tidy room with a comfortable bed and mattress, curtains to cut off excess light, dust and noise and clean bedsheets with a small baby almirah or rack and not much extra furniture is in itself very relaxing.
2. The next important question is "where will the baby lie and sleep"?. In India mostly babies co sleep with their mother's so one can either go for a crib option where the Crib can be kept near the bed and can be shifted through wheels or else baby beds available in the market are a good option. They can be placed on the normal bed or even in the crib. Also even in the crib a mattress, mustard pillow, extra pillows, baby bedsheet, covering sheet, quilt etc needs to be placed. Baby beds usually come in beautiful colours with an appropriate baby mattress, pillows, bedsheet etc. One can choose as per the need. Also wet proof sheets should be placed in the crib and on the bed for handling peeing and pooping.
3. A baby almirah is one good thing to invest in before the baby comes back home. New borns need a change of nappies several times in a day and night too, also even the upper clothing needs to be changed sometimes. There is really lots of baby related small stuff that needs to be kept neatly and in reach for easy accesibility. In my case we had bought an almirah and used the lower shelf for things which were not frequently needed. In upper 2 shelves I had adjusted, clothes, napkins, nappies, cap, mittens, socks, cotton, rough clothes etc and lower ones were used for toiletries and medicines. Also in one rack were extra baby cover, bedsheets etc.
4. New borns feed on demand and almost many times during the day and night. By the time you leave the hospital you will get an idea of wether things like bottles, etc are needed or not. Also for breastfeeding mom's sometimes nipple shields, ointments, breast pump etc are needed. Some people can exclusively breast feed successfully while for others it can be a combination of formula and breastfeed or even formula only. So, if baby is exclusively breastfed then the mother will definitely feel tired and exhausted with all her healing too taking place simultaneously, so if you have bought a Pregnancy pillow then that will help you a lot, else try and take pillow support at your back and under the thighs while feeding. This way the new mom also take rest and feed in a relaxing position. If baby is formulae fed then before leaving the hospital consult the paediatrician there for a good formulae brand and how to prepare the feed and what quantity should be fed how many times a day. Also keep in mind that sterlization will be one main work that we need to do when baby is formulae fed. If you want you can buy a sterlizer or else bottles, nipples, cap and feeding equipment needs to be washed and boiled every time and stored so, best is to keep them in fridge in a clean basket and buy at least 2 sets.
5. My baby was born at the start of rainy season and a very important point I had missed was that there will be lot of baby laundry to be handled. Washing the laundry separately and also drying it up will need appropriate help and space and things like a stand or cloth hangers. So, it's better to plan for this thing specially when family help is less as this will add to ones troubles.
6. Massaging the mother and baby: this is a matter of personal choice and also wether you can get a good person to do that or not. Personally I have found that even before delivery if one enquires in the neighborhood about a good massage help for both baby (both massaging and bathing) and mom for at least initial few weeks, it not only helps the mother learn many things from that person's experience as later the mom can give massage and bath to baby on her own, it also helps a new mom to recover. I had lot of swelling and pain in my body after delivery and massaging carefully helped reduced it. It helped me become completely active in one week after the stiches were removed. We had prepared a special mustard oil for that and many people use ghee, almond oil, Coconut oil etc for this. Also I took my baths with warm water which had ajwain water boiled in it and that helped me relax a lot. Also another important point was that in many households new mom's are asked to refrain from bathing but believe me, once you are back home and if you take care of the stiches etc and bathe it is most relaxing and gives a fresh and clean feeling. Also because catheter is inserted after a c section in private area for urination and post Partum Bleeding is also there so cleaning it properly is very essential to avoid infections later.
Besides that a few more points are:
1. For a new mother taking care of her diet and water intake (I had taken warm boiled ajwain water for 1.5 months) etc is very essential for recovery and Breastfeeding both. Also never ignore the care that is needed with stiches as if some problem occurs there it can be a nightmare to handle.
2. Family and spouse support and help is very much needed by even the strongest of the women at this time so don't shy away in asking for it. Whenever you can, take rest and sleep or do something relaxing to keep sane as it is a very hectic phase both physically and emotionally.
3. Keeping in touch with your doctor and also a good paeditrician is very helpful in initial months and years as one has to regularly consult them for many things like vaccinations, colic, infections, feed etc for baby as well as for some gynecological problems for the lady. So being in touch helps.
Last but not try to be happy, and listen to good advice from well wishers while ignoring all the judging and unwarranted advice and comments from people that can spoil your mood and spirit.
Sorry for a lengthy post but these were the points I wanted to share from my experience so that it helps someone in need.
As a mother, I am still learning many things.
Image Courtsey: internet
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Amazing post
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Loved every point Aditi.
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Sania Bhushan
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10 Apr 2019