Today I'm penning down this post not just to say what pain is all about but it's a experience that I wish no one ever faces.

About 4 months back on the 17th of November, 2018 I welcomed a healthy and happy baby boy to this world with a normal delivery and was completely happy and blessed by the almighty of having an easy-going pregnancy too. It was all going good and great watching my baby in my arms, kissing his tiny hands and feet. It was truly a pleasure of enjoying motherhood. Things were all going normals until one month.

On the 10th of December, 2018 I observed a tiny white mark on the right side of my breast, I thought it was normal so I never told to any one after a day or two I saw it become bigger, I was a bit worried so I told it to my mom, who then took me to my gynecologist, who told that's it normal and written a couple of antibiotics for 5 days even after having the tablets I couldn't feel better, infact my breast began to become bigger and heavier so I consulted her again after 5 days, by then I had two milk clots developed and on the 19th of December, 2018 one of the clot has blasted and the pus began oozing out so I was rushed to the hospital and then the worst time began the gynecologist had asked to consult a General suergon and undergo an operation, I met the doctor and I was operated on the 20th of December,2018 leaving behind my 1 month old son who was also getting his first vaccination on the same day I underwent a surgery. The surgery was a 20 minutes one and I had my entire breast covered in bandages I just couldn't see my skin. I was discharged with 48 hours and I could only feed my baby from one side.

After the surgery I was advised to undergo dressing everyday which was a night mare I had wounds that where 3 and 7 inches deep and no stiches as it was a sensitive areas so it needed to be self healed.

Each day I would cry cry and cry for not just the pain I had physically but also the pain of not being able to feed my kid.

Time went on after a month I developed another clot on the right side again bcz I was feeding from my left so the right side couldn't release the milk produce. I was completely shattered and broken. I couldn't cope up with it. I was all broken and into tears, why did it happen to me all over again. My mom and dad gave me positive hopes and I again consulted my gynecologist and she gave me medication to stop my milk production as that was the only solution to stop the formation of milk clots in future. I started to the medicines advised and after about 15 days the milk had stopped.

For all this while I could not carry my baby and cuddle him all by myself I needed my mom to help me bcz of the heavy bandages.

I had the worst time of my life for the initial 3 months after my kids birth. It was all the support of my mom and dad that I decided not to give up and keep fighting back always to recover for not just myself but for my kid who needs my warmth and love.

So everyone out there, pregnant and who are about to have a baby please don't hesitate to talk to everyone and anyone about how to feed and what complications one faces before and after pregnancy. Please consult the doctor even for the slightest of the issue and if you notice anything please reach out to some one as early as possible.