#wellbeing
Hi, I am a mother of 1.5year old boy. Me n my husband share a very loving relationship, but the problem lies between me n inlaws. They never wanted me to have child, because they wanted their elder daughter to have one instead. Now, with the 3 tears of continuous pestering by mil in everything, my FIL taunting on everything, I feel so lost at times. Now, me n hubby have come separate, but then, ever time the phone rings or they come visiting, I turn tensed, worked up and in short the approach towards life becomes negative.
I was so confident, happy go lucky, positive but now I feel very depressed n dejected. How do I overcome all this?
Hi, I am a mother of 1.5year old boy. Me n my husband share a very loving relationship, but the problem lies between me n inlaws. They never wanted me to have child, because they wanted their elder daughter to have one instead. Now, with the 3 tears of continuous pestering by mil in everything, my FIL taunting on everything, I feel so lost at times. Now, me n hubby have come separate, but then, ever time the phone rings or they come visiting, I turn tensed, worked up and in short the approach towards life becomes negative.
I was so confident, happy go lucky, positive but now I feel very depressed n dejected. How do I overcome all this?
Dear Amrita, Apologies for the delay in my response. First and foremost thank you for sharing your concern. Handling such sensitive situations can give rise to great discomfort and create an emotional upheaval. You mentioned you are now staying separate from your in laws but anytime they are visiting, you tend to tense up.What you are dealing with is 'anxiety'. I understand the 3 years with them may have been difficult and it may have created some sort of trauma for you which has lingered on giving rise to anxiety. Firstly, let's check in with the positives in your life.1) A loving and supporting relationship with your husband 2) a beautiful healthy baby 3) separate living arrangement to name a few:-) Anxiety persists as past experience have been negative and you are constantly worried when they visit or the phone rings.Ask yourself How helpful is it for you to get worked up? Is it helping you get better or worse? Try not to feed the negative thoughts constantly as what you resist, persists! Instead anytime they are visiting and the anxiety crops, sit with the anxiety and identify what thoughts come to you? Our thoughts are not facts. Our thoughts hold the key to our healthy or unhealthy belief patterns. Focus on your relationship with your husband and share how you feel, sometimes just talking it out will help you or talk to a trusted friend. Breathe , you are now on your own and have more time to take up things. The 'lost' feeling will go once you accept your self and have a more deeper connection with yourself which will help you reconnect. Start by taking charge of your life and make a little time table for yourself as per your baby's requirement and when you have a window available, Engage in taking up an activity it could be as simple as watering the plants or gardening. Watching a light movie or dancing to your favourite song. Try joining a yoga class or an exercise group activity. If there are persistent feelings of sadness, crying spells and dejection for more than 2-3 weeks and your sleep and appetite is affected, I would recommend you seek therapy to help you gear up with more effective coping strategies. " Don't fight the old, build the new"
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Amritha while our expert replies let me first convey a big kudos to you. You have been managing all this while. You and your hubby need to continue to have a strong bond. Ensure that nothing comes in between you both. i understand your fear. Just be normal and try your best to be your positive self
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Hi Amritha. Let me ask our expert. We will be back with her revert.
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Will Sheena answer the question now..??
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Amritha Srinath
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18 May 2017