When he was a small child, spending time with me, going places with me, talking with me and being hugged by me were all pleasurable things to do. The closeness between us felt right a continuation .But this enjoyment of special closeness with me started to change with the separation, differentiation, and opposition of;adolescence drive him toward more independence, and particularly with the onset of puberty when he began the work of defining himself as a young man. Growing up required giving up for both of us. Each must let something precious go, but I usually felt the sacrifice more because at least my adolescent son has the excitement and satisfaction of growing older to look forward to, while I may mourn the years of easy attachment that have been lost. I will never have him as a little boy again.As for the him, he felt more relaxed with me in;childhood than he does during now , a much more complicated time.When he is not comfortable just talking with me, we choose more doing-with than talking-with approaches to maintaining the relationship.This;guidance is important because the time for socializing and;dating the other;sex will soon arrive. He sometimes complain about me talking too much or "always wanting to talk," in fact it is often me who he finds the comfort and solace and a good peice of advice.
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