Q:

hi Sheena Kalia
I keep on criticising myself for everything..I cant think anything positively..its like a person is there inside me who wants to bully me all the time..I left my job because of various health issues then I became pregnant..now I am a full time mom..I want to start my career again..but I lost my confidence..I feel I am good for nothing now.



asha chaudhry

hey anon. a big babychakramomhug to u! pls dont be so hard on urself! pls check out flexi and work from home job options on sheroes and squad run. get linkedin updates. chin up - everyone goes thru this phase. Sheena Kalia will be able to advise u better! good luck! Manveen Dua Gayatri Rao

Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog)

hi anon... the fact that you write to seek out help means you want to help yourself. you lack confidence because you haven't stepped out of the house for a while. start by meeting moms like yourself in the park, play dates, invite people over. once you start socialising more you will also find it within you to step out and work. try meditation and positive self thoughts.

Roopashree Siddireddy

It's just the harmonal changes and something you not done so long...you feel... you can't do. Come on...when you can give birth to a wonderful life.. take care of it.. you can do anything on this earth. Just don't listen to the one inside you...who talks negative.. Listen to your heart...who will say.. " All is well". I too gone through same phase. Once baby give you some time.. you will be fine. Just stay happy and relaxed. sleep whenever possible and Remember.. " You Can Do It!".

Anonymous

thank you all for the replies..it means a lot to me..when I share these thoughts with my close ones..they judge me..they think I am lazy..I am so thankful to babychakra for giving me a chance to share my feelings ..

Sheetal Rai

hi. the one thing u should remember that if u have taken the effort to be concerned enough to ask people about it already proves that u r a wonderful mother. first thing u should do is get some "me time" meet ur friends once a week. or go pamper urself or get some exercise. it will help tremendously. because sometimes we get immersed in this baby routine that we need a break. so take a break once in a while. it will help alot. secondly take one step at a time. I don't know how old is ur baby but they do need their mothers and when u think ur baby is big enough to be handled by other caregiver or sent to daycare then u can start ur career again. for the time being u can do some freelancing jobs part time jobs .. I also left my job when I got pregnant because it was my choice to bring up my baby on my own. but I freelance in content writing, travel writing, proofreading . u can check out this website sheroes.in. it's a wonderful website and esp made for women. so yes. take a deep breath. take a break. and know that u are doing a wonderful job and repeat. we are all together in this. 😊

Sheena Kalia

Dear Mom, Thank you for sharing and apologies for the delayed response. The 'Internal bully' is at play in your case also known as the inner critic. This kind of bullying is worse than external bullying as it leads to high self doubt, low self esteem and and when left unchecked gives rise to an overall negative self concept. The constant negative nagging thoughts you are playing to your self is contributing largely to the way you feel. This 'bully' which is with you all the time needs to simply be accepted that it's there but without engaging with it. Much like an uninvited visitor...Remember that anything the bully says can't really harm us as they are only words and we attribute the power we give to these words. Tell your internal bully that she tends to amplify things and is incapable of evaluating you and has no credibility.It makes you believe thoughts that aren't facts. Separate that bully from yourself and the moment you are able to check on your thoughts you will start identifying your self talk. You mentioned you want to start your career. Your internal bully is having a good time stopping you from getting back to it. Time to stop feeding the negativity and check on your dysfunctional thought pattern. I strongly recommend you seek therapy. It will help you by building your self concept which in turn will bring back the confidence. Take a step back. Breathe and focus on what long term and short term goals you want to achieve. Make a note of things you can do for your self. Begin by taking care of your health by exercising, checking sleep and appetite and by giving yourself half and hour everyday doing things you love. Make a list of positive things in your life. E.g.. a Thank you or a gratitude journal.You have focussed so much on the negative that the positivity has taken a back seat. Focus on the healthier and more functional you.

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