Q:

Please be kind. I have mustered a lot of courage to even open up and be honest. so do not judge me and give me your practical advise. Do understand my point of view too! So here it goes.
I felt like leaving my daughter behind to be able to find myself. I have done a lot and just done for others all my life and ignored my desires and my dreams. I feel I have no identity of my on now and I just want to leave everything behind and create an identity for myself. I need to do it soon else I will break down. my daughter is three years old now and is a happy and healthy kid of mine. I am in a complete dilemma. I love her to bits but am scared of leaving her. I don't even know how my husband will react to this. I just want to leave everything and do what I want to do right now i.e.



hey anon. a big virtual hug first of all.

okay i m back anon. so i will not try to give u advice. i wud say 70 percent of us if not more have been in ur place. so here's what i wud do if i was in ur place: 1. start small with me time - every single day u must give urself me time by exercising, grabbing coffee or a movie with ur friends. i made some amazing friends in the park. we moved to goa as it is a child friendly place so here i was wth an infant in a city where i had no friends. i took a career break and lost my self worth. i put on 10 kgs after losing all my pregnancy weight! i felt terrible and everyday in the park i wud sit by myself and my husband wud play with my baby. then i made friends in the park. similar working moms who were on a career break. we started doing playdates. that helped.

2. get additional help at home so u get some free time to read, watch a movie or surf the net or work from home - give urself space & time at home.

3. talk to ur husband clearly and tell him how u feel. take him out - just the two of u, if thats poss.

4. i dont knw what kind of a support system u hv but if there is someone to take care of ur childoo? if u need to take a break and u are a traveller - go somewhere wth a friend for a few days. take that break u need. we all need breaks to keep sane.

5.talk to someone who gets u and makes sense to u as well. keep the conversations on - u can ping me on the app whenever u want to. but keep talking. all of us are in the same boat. some of us manage to run away, some of us dont. but its completely normal to feel this way.

ps: sorry for all the gyan. just wanted to let u knw no one will judge u on babychakra becoz we hv or are going thru the same journey. u need a healthy break - everyone does. hugs. keep talking here

Hi dear! A very big hug
Try to find out what you want. Sometimes we feel running away is the answer but what if it isnt? What do u want for yourself?.A career...independence? What is it that stops you at home

Gayatri Rao Priya Sood Neha Sharma aditi manja Richa Chowdhary Sheeba Vijesh Prisha Lalwani (Mummasaurus) Charu Sareen Gujjal(TheMomSagas) Mamta Washist Manveen (Motheropedia_Blog)

I totally agree with asha chaudhry ,u r now totally tired and bugged up of Ur responsibilities which most of the mom's face.now Ur kid is 3,put her n a play school n use the time productively and slowly u can find a job which suits you.its Ur frustration that's speaking ,u cannot stay away from Ur kid no matter how hard u try.just destress urself and speak to Ur hubby clearly and sort issues.lots of love n hugs to u.hope u overcome this phase

anon, by creating ur own identity do u mean getting back to work?

no body is going to judge u dear... we all have been and some of us are including me in ur place right now... i know how it feels to feel worthless.. not having ur own identity...but world doesn't end there... remember one thing if u really want it u will get it... i dont want to praise myself or discourage or hurt ur feelings..i wil just share one thing with u... i have gone through a clinical depression for 10 years since my parents died in a road accident... my life literally turned upside down..i ddnt know public transport wen my parents were alive n wen they left me i had to go to my relatives place n had to go to school by walking 10 km a dat bcz it was a remote village with no transport available.. at the age of 10. my parents wanted me to be a class one officer n i ended up marrying at the age of 21 had a kid at 25...being 'just a housewife' ... it was an identity crisis for me... trust me i have gone through a lot...from mental issues to sexual harassment... i have seen it all... i am not counting my sorrows to you...n i even dont want to make u feel that ur pain is lesser...just want to tell u that i hear u!! understand u completely!! n trust me if i can stand todat passing evry situation behind u can do it to... we r with u... u count urself lucky bcz u have a beautiful daughter..

dont forget that ur the world for ur daughter... whatever u do..do it with her..let her accompany u in every situation... set an example for her that whatever she wants she will get it with hardwork n not with frustration.... dont think like this again... if its just a frustration it will pass n if u trully want something then u will have to achieve it...leaving something behind is not an option dear... lots of love n happiness to u...tc😘

hugs Shruti Giri ....

Hi anon, I can understand how difficult it had been for you to even pen down what you feel, but believe me this is something which most of us feel or think at some point of time. but there is nothing wrong in thinking this way as mothers are also humans and they too have their individual life. The whole trick is about balancing. the way we know how to balance work and personal life similarly we have to find a balance in our life as an individual and as different roles we play. we can't give our 100% to anything if we lose focus of what we are actually. Just believe in yourself. first talk to someone whom you trust, and ask for help, someone who can come and stay with you and take care of your daughter or you can look for day care facilities nearby. set a target which you feel can give you the satisfaction of regaining your own identity and start working towards it. it's just a matter of couple of months and you can do it! Think positive ❤