Q:

My lill one screams a lot and has also become very cranky... he is very comfortable with my maid and doesn't want to come to me or anyone else when he is with her. What should I do? Please help



asha chaudhry

does she play with her? perhaps he enjoys playing with her so resists! he may think mamma and others only want to feed me etc! try taking a new book/toy and play with him. take him down to the park. do some fun stuff! he will come around :)

asha chaudhry

Sheeba Vijesh Roopashree Siddireddy kindly suggest and #TagFwd

Sheeba Vijesh

hi priyanka, let me narrate a similar incident to you. my mom was a SAHM. so one of our neighbours, who was also a family friend, she was working. She would leave her daughter sometimes at our place. She soon got very attached to my mom, as my mom also has a way with kids. It led to a lot of jealousy on part of the other aunty, as this kid preferred to be with my mom. So what do you understand from this story? Kids love to be with a person who amuses them, plays with them, entertains them. If you are a working mom(i am not judging you here, I too am working 😊), often you may be too tired to be silly around the baby. Or if you are like me, who had never seen a small baby in your life until you had your own little one, you may not know how to be silly. So here's a tip - if you feel jealous when your baby looks happy with the maid(i would be), keep that feeling aside and observe her. See what is it that she is doing that makes the baby laugh. Try them out yourself. Be silly and entertain the baby ; make funny face, dance a silly dance, sing and make funny noises. And when feeding, do not force feed, baby maybe resisting that as well. Good luck dear, you are his mother, he will come around. You can do it.... 😊

Sheeba Vijesh

Dhara Popat Dr.Shilpitha Shanthappa

Sonika Singh

Hi Priyanka...are you working...
please give time to your kid...your maid I think giving more time....so he has become comfortable..you start playing with kid...take him to play ground...have more time...

Dhara Popat

hey dear. Let me give u an example of my friend. She was a colleage with me in school. After her daughter was born she stayed at home for six months but than bec of school responsibilities she joined it again leaving her six month old baby with her mother in law. later when the baby started to understand things Her MIL use to tell her grand daughter that your mumma is bot good,  she doesnt give u chocolates,  she doesnt take you out...  she is a bad mumma..  gradually the poor little girl started hating her mother and my friend was not getting the reason behind that..  She went to a counselor with her daughter and from her she came to know that dadi use to teach her all this and so she hates her.  counseller suggested my friend to spend more and more time with her daughter, take her out,  play with her, buy her some toys .. jus to build up the love that was lacking... she even got seperated from mil and shifted to indonesia now..  m nt telling u to do that but i think ur baby needs more of mumma hugs.. cuddles..  make him sleep next to u.. do all the possible things to build up his love for u..  all the best dear..

Dr. Shilpitha Shanthappa

hello priyanka...
if u dont mind i wanna give my own example...
i n my hubby both r busy docs, v r blessed with  one year old daughter...but the thing is v neva appointed any maid as v r lil afraid abt them...in mrng i spend tym wit my daughter till noon, n she ll be with me in hospital itself..by noon her dad ll take her to home n he spends tym wit her till nyt...in nyt v three r the happiest...n our baby is happiest compared to neighbour ones n more...My advice is if u r unable to make tym fa him ,let ur baby have grt tym in day care...bcz in tht baby ll be engaged by more people n many companions ll b there...he ll wait fa u to come n receive n lyk wise he ll be not dependable on one maid n u ll be releived...once think abt this...if this condition continues in future u ll be sufferer...be careful n act wise in this condition..

Priyanka Tanna

Thank you everyone... all your suggestions have helped me.... got to know where I was going

Ankita Popli

hey priyanka, I really need to spend time with her, u need to watch your maid.take leave from your work for few days,send her on leave and stay with your kid.u need to act smartly it's a serious thing.

BabyChakra

Kaushal Sovani Sheena Kalia do advise

BabyChakra

Manveen Dua Prisha Lalwani Kuhoo Gupta u should add in too

BabyChakra

Are you a working or a stay at home mom?

Priya Sood

Hello Priyanka!! A very warm and big hug. I can understand how you feel but do not fret we are all with you. It does happen at times. Even when grandparents are there. I at times felt bad when my child never came to me when he was with his grandparents. There are two main things. 1) Please never forget that you are the mother and there is no other natural and stronger bond. If your maid has taken care or spent more time with your child he will seek comfort with her. BUT ...you can ensure you spend good quality time with your child every day. Do not force but make it smooth and fun. Do activities that your child enjoys. TALK to your child everyday on how much you love him and how you are there to protect him. We ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!

Kanika Khybri Kukreja

Spend more time with your baby, make sure you reduce the maid time even if that means you sacrificing your sleep or a shower. Bond b/w both of you will grow only when you give him time along with love. Be there to attend him fully & do not give him to maid for sometime. Also children tend to get cranky try and find out what makes him scream is he hungry or demanding something. The closer you come to knowing what he wants, the closer he will come to you.

Sweta Nagubandi

As everyone suggested.. all that a baby needs is more Momma love and time. Engage ur daughter in activities.  take her out. say some stories. put her to sleep. As I see from ur status that ur baby is a year old, they tend to understand. so incase ur working, while spending time with ur baby, explain her that mumma mummy is working and needs to be out for half a day. Momma loves you. will spend time with you once im back. maid is just to takecare and help mumma. Cosleep is the best. sing some songs n stories while going to bed. they work wonders. involve ur kido in all ur works including folding clothes... watering plants... sorting Vegetables. one step move to make the bonding more stronger. and NEVER FEEL DEJECTED .

Priya Ghosh

hey Priyanka, first thing just take a deep breath and relax and think of all the quality time you can spend with your little one when you are at home. think of all the activities your little one likes. start giving maid some work when you are around and you sit with him and play his favourite game or play with his favourite toys. also on weekends you can think of activities of bonding, like going to park or visiting some play area. having patience and spending some quality time is the key and just take it slowly.

suchismita patro

Everyone has given u enough idea to how to mk him comfortable with you and yes u have spend more tm.. Mk him listen his fev rhymes.. Sit with him n play.. Tk him out for park n different play stations where he can play with his same age group n keep ur made away or less tm with him.. This is the disadvantages of leaving child with others but it'd never late.. Thy just need love pamper.. So where ever thy get that thy r fond of that person or thing.

Kaushal Sovani

Dear Priyanka
Most moms have given fabulous  advice.
Try finding out the reason for the behaviour. Usually there is an antecedent (trigger)  before the behaviour occurs. Identify that. Once u know the antecedent, You will be able to respond better.
Best Wishes...

Kuhoo Gupta (The K Junction)

I think first you need to observe her interaction with the maid and see what she enjoys the most with her and whether you are able to do that?

give her sleep talk , speak to her within 15 minutes of her falling asleep...'mumma loves xyz. xyz loves mumma. Mumma is so proud of xyz. xyz is enjoying so much with mumma'. ... here xyz is your child's name. make sure only positive sentences are used. no No's in them

spend more mindful time with her like taking her outdoors, singing rhymes, dancing clue lessly, doing relevant activities with her

Kuhoo Gupta (The K Junction)

how to develop your child's brain - check out this month wise activities series articles on babychakra written by me. they might give you some ideas

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