Disclaimer: I love my child from day 1.
On being asked “how does it feel to be a mom?” imagine hearing responses like “what the hell was I thinking? I want my life back and I feel like pulling my hair out!” I bet at times that’s exactly what is going on in their mind. Why don’t we ever admit openly that at times we have mommy blues?
As my old life drifted farther away, reality was slowly seeping in. The contact with office buddies reduced and now it was only their fb posts I was in touch with. The promotion parties, the team off sites were all gone. The office gossip gang and adult conversation (non-baby related) was gone. I missed the round of applause, the appreciation mails and that little pat on the shoulder. Now, the only thing on my shoulder was either drool or the end product of a bad burping.
All of a sudden because I was home I found myself taking on more and more housework. As if the cosmos had conspired and placed the home maker hat on my head. Gosh, I was lousy at it and wasn’t a fan of it either! I must have burnt 50 dishes of khichdi till now! I had always run away from housework in my younger days. I guess this was the universe’s way of saying – You can run but you can’t hide:-)
Motherhood is everything you imagined - unconditional love, hope and warmth. And at times what you would never – loneliness, frustration and anger. This part no mom openly talks about and because of that one wonders - Am I the only weirdo out there? If you have had mommy blues, you are not alone and certainly not lesser in love with buddy baby. It’s just that you are also in love with yourself too. My lifestyle, my sense of accomplishment and my interests are all just as much a part of me as my buddy baby.
There are low days but every low has a way out. Here are my life saviors.
1. Filling up the gap: I realized what I missed the most and didn’t want to compromise on. My own development and skill utilization was really important to me. So, I got myself a flexi job! A good one too. I had approached my network and ex-colleagues. An opportunity is out there somewhere. And yes, I found it. The work gave me a good break and a sense of accomplishment.
2. Continuing a hobby/interest: Scheduling a break where at least once a week I was doing what I wanted took my mind off of everything. It brought ‘me’ back.
3. Sharing the load: A relevant ad campaign launched recently by Ariel is doing the rounds in social media. Whether it’s your spouse, family members or house maid don’t hesitate to grab that helping hand.
4. Vent outs: A candid conversation over a hot beverage is known to soothe the soul. It was mostly my sister, mom and my other mom friends in the same boat. They never judged and were all ears.
5. Healthy diet and Exercise: I loved yoga and introduced it to buddy baby too. We both shared fruits, ate healthy and were very active.
Being a stay-at-home Mom was my decision and I don’t regret it till this date. But I wanted more for myself too. I was determined to get the best of both worlds. I needed myself back.
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