“My husband is an angry person and because of this I feel hurt at times”
We all know the saying, “anger is one letter short of danger.” But what do we do when anger gets the better of us? How do we prevent our children from picking up such negative habits? Understanding negatives, filtering them out and focusing on the positives is what makes us better at everything, even parenting! Achieving positive interaction with children is a part of spiritual parenting.
We asked Anshul Bafna, a business psychologist and spiritual coach, plenty of questions on spiritual parenting in a live Q&A. Here is part II of the chat.
Q: I am short-tempered and I say whatever comes to my mind in the heat of the moment and then regret it. I don’t know how to control this urge, please help me. My in-laws always talk negatively about others and I don’t want my baby to learn these things.
A: I’m glad you know where you need a change! Your negative talks need a vent instead of being shut out. Understand where it comes from. Is it old anger towards someone? Jealousy? Low self-esteem? Cover these emotions first. Every time you are about to be negative, breathe. Repeat this all day long, “I am happy. I am positive.” You will start observing changes!
Q: My husband is a very angry person and because of this I feel hurt at times. He is usually kind at heart. Things are fine with him and baby now but I’m worried about the future. How should I make him understand this?
A: Remember, like attracts like! So if you do not want your child to be like him, stop worrying. The more you worry, the more worry the universe gives back to you! As a mother, help your child understand love and care. Once children receive love and understand it, anger dissolves! Loudly affirm in front of your husband, “I am love! I am calm! I am always at peace!”
Q: I don’t want to be a comparing and competitive mom but how do I stop myself from feeling bad when a same age group kid performs a skill set that my kid knows nothing of?
A: Feeling bad itself is a low frequency emotion. It is natural that you want your child to be able to perform like others or better. Your kid might be brilliant at something else! You need to explore his likes. Skills he doesn’t know can be taught. Weave in the thread of curiosity and knowledge. This is just his time to explore!
Q: I have a 10-year-old daughter who is going through the typical argumentative tween phase. I try not to be a tiger mom but since she is a single kid I don’t want her to think that just because I’m a work from home mom and don’t have the inclination to get into an argument with her.
A: Teens can be challenging. You can fix a time in a week or every 3 days where you have a heart to heart talk with her about what you didn’t like about her behaviour. Allow her to talk too. Give each one ten minutes to speak. Then take 10 minutes to find a way to sort out the problem by putting each in the other’s shoes. This exercise takes time but helps majorly in the long run.
The best thing we can do for our kids is to empower them to look for positivity in everything. This way they can deal with life better and understand emotions and deal with them effectively.
If you haven’t read Part I of this chat, click here. If you have a question for our expert regarding spiritual parenting, do not hesitate to ask in comments below.
Explore the entire collection of articles: Parenting Gyaan
If you are reading this article on our website and have an Android phone, please download our APP here for a more personalised experience based on your lifestage.