There is no more beautiful feeling than becoming a mother of a child. It might be a milestone in few people's lives or shared happiness between two loved ones or sense of achievement and I shall dwell on this later but it is a BEAUTIFUL and SOULFUL journey. I am a Mother of 15-month-old girl and love her to the core and would confess that the feeling grew on me over time and have started enjoying her company now as I was too busy doing her daily activity and chores around her didn’t realize time pass by.
The day my daughter was born, everything was so new and I was so lost as I couldn’t cope up with new physical and psychological changes happening around/within me. I wondered is it only me or all the new moms feel this insecurity of unknowns. I had planned for a full-time help called 'Jaapas'(they are mostly available in eastern part of India, trained to handle new born baby and the mother). She came to meet me in the hospital to see me and the child she will be taking care of for next couple of months. She began to cry and howl as she entered the room as I wondered and failed to realize the reason till she opened her mouth and said 'Hey bhagwaan humne toh ladka maanga tha yeh kya ho gaya'.
I had my in-laws supporting me through that phase and witness of this sentiment too. I am probably lucky to have supporting in-laws and at least the gender of child didn’t matter to them rather my MIL was more excited to see a girl as she always wanted one. However, I wondered in midst of all the new things surrounding me, could this be for real? Yes, I could have kicked her out or scolded her or whatever but the thing that saddened me most was that I couldn’t change her mindset or the others like her around. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case with only uneducated folks like her.
I was happy for self and family and never saw things from others point of view.
In our country, probably more in certain regions/community having a male child completes the purpose of existence for them. I discussed it with many of my friends but they said there are such people like that and you can't help it. Even if I bring up my daughter as equal but she would be part of the same society who thinks differently. Society is what we all make and still blame few others and not self for the same. I have seen some helpless friends/relatives(male) mentioning that family is pressurizing them for male child and wondered what did they do to stop it or confront them. This is the mindset one nurtures for themselves and for children to follow as they grow. Unfortunately, I don’t have a better analogy to consider but as the love for a fair skin in our country can never die down, I don’t see the love or want for male child can ever die or be satiated. How much ever one talks of equality, this thing doesn’t change. I have seen so many cases around me, where it is ok to have a single child if it is a male else you are already late for another.
I sincerely wish and hope that my daughter grows up to be in a society that truly celebrates life and not the gender of the child when they are born.
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This article is an entry for BLOG-A-THON.