Since ages, we have classified moms in two categories. Good moms and bad moms. Until recently, when another type sprung up and lo!behold every mom strives to hold a place in that category. Yup, Super moms it is! And why not, they definitely deserve the title, who makes the world go around for their little ones. Though, not me. I don’t consider myself a super mom nor am I striving for that coveted title. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to become a super mom but the truth is I know that I don’t have it in me to become one. Miserable, I know. Oh well, it just doesn’t come naturally to me, try hard as I might (which I don’t, if truth be told). However good intentions I might have but it somehow comes out in a different manner altogether and I become the devil mom in the eyes of my little one. Sigh! Well, not that I really mind being a devil mom since that is one thing I can really excel at, so at least don’t take that away from me. Whatt?? You don’t take me seriously? I’m not kidding at all. Here, picture this -
Super moms: “Ok sweetheart! We’ll play for some time and then we try to sleep again.” And they play happily ever after.
Me, half asleep: “Yes sweetheart I’m already playing the game called ‘eyes wide shut’ and you also try doing the same” and pulls her back to sleep before she can think of anything else.
Super moms: “Calm down sweetie! I know you are upset but we can talk about it as soon as we reach home. Now, be a good boy and give mamma a hand with this stuff.” And miraculously he obeys! How do these super moms manage it with such finesse and poise is something I will never understand. I swear.
Me, looking around: “Who’s left this kid like this here.. careless mom, really! Don’t worry people, I’ll take her to her mom safely and give the mom a good bashing for leaving her kid alone in a public place.” And swiftly escapes from the prying eyes, yes yes, with the child in tow, of course. I’m nice like that, you know.
Super moms: “Oh dear! It’s alright, accidents happen. Next time, try to let me know ‘before’ you want to use the potty. Ok. Promise? That’s like my good girl. Muahh.” And magically their efforts pay off. And if I try saying the same thing in the same exact manner… it backfires! Now, I seriously envy these super moms.
Me in a panicked state: “OMG! She is never going to come out of diapers. What if she is not potty trained even at five? Gasp. I can’t breathe. Why God, Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Please help me. Please!” And flushes away the tears.. err ..the traces left behind by the dreaded poop monster. Arghhh.
Super moms: “Sweetheart, if you want to be healthy and strong you need to eat everything. You don’t want to get so weak that you don’t have the energy even to go and play with your friends, now do you?” Yeah no prizes for guessing what happens next.
Me, starts eating the left over food that ‘Her Highness’ left behind: “Ok fine, don’t eat. And then don’t come running to me when you are hungry. I’m not making anything for you later. Got it? Good.” And finishing off the last morsel on the plate. Burrrrrp.
Super moms: “You are not supposed to watch it all day long dear, it makes your eyesight weaker and you don’t want specs, do you? So I suggest you watch for half an hour and turn it off. Deal?” Aahhhh… goal again!
Me: “Do whatever you want. Don’t ask me. Anyway you don’t listen to me. So whats the point in seeking my permission. Just watch tv whole day and don’t study or go to the class. And spoil your eyes even more. Go, go.” Oh. Shes already gone and started watching it. My well-versed speech, as usual, fell on deaf ears. Grrrrrrrrrr.
Super moms: Helps their kids all week and sacrifices all other work to support the child achieve good results.
Me on the D-day: “Ohh! You had a test today? U didn’t tell me? Oh you did. Sorry I completely forgot about it dear. Don’t worry sweetie. Just write whatever you know. Ok? And next time we’ll definitely do wonders. Promise!” If only I remember it the next time around. Darn.
So there, now you believe me? I told you I was not kidding. Life of a non super-mom. We are on the verge of getting extinct but we do exist. As of now. And since no one talks about a non super mom I decided to write an ode to moms like me(please raise your hands) who despite their best efforts of being a super mom will always be as clumsy, as silly, as panicky, as mean and as forgetful as ever! Cheers to us!
This article is an entry for BLOG-A-THON.
Also Read: The First Time is Always Special
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