Building The Right Mindset From The Beginning
As like any mother/parent, one is always concerned about what my child should or shouldn’t eat, what is healthy, organic and right calorie food for my kid etc. This article isn’t about the recipe, ingredients right for your child meal but for your child mind and behavior. I have often seen parents to be concerned on what food to be given at what age and it is important too for the growth of the child. However, we often miss out on the food that the child’s brain needs to feed in their emotions, behavior building, play time, bonding etc.
I feel in coming years major challenges in child’s health are not going to be physical but psychological. It saddens me to see teenagers committing suicide due to depression or on prescribed anti-depression pills or living a life far from reality, thanks to virtual reality games etc.
You all must be wondering, can character building be influenced that soon? My answer to that is, there is no starting age of learning to begin. Your child is already learning from what they see, do, observe and giving structure to their learning is not burdening but a support.
Here’s my recipe to what should we do and try to inculcate right set of behavior, feelings and emotions within our children. Before you go through the rest, just remember, parenting is not a science or an art it is process and always evolving and subjective to child. Parents are the best judge to decide what’s best for their child.
Respect the individuality, everybody has their own growth chart
I have seen some mothers competing in terms of their child’s growth and feeling disappointed if their child reaches a certain age and is not able to walk, talk or greet others. I was personally given example of distant relatives/friends by my near and dear ones which I chose to IGNORE. You might be missing out on something that your child is ahead from others. Walking a month or 2 later is COMPLETELY NORMAL! My daughter started around 14 months. Please don’t stress yourself and pass on the same to your child. This is the time your child mindset, attitude is developing and might not be able to relate to competitive world so soon…give them time, they have their whole life to compete!
There is no timeline to learning, it is a continuous process
Like I said above, give them time and support, rest will follow. I have seen parents/mother/grandparents feel very proud to demonstrate the new acquired skill by the child and so do I. But it is ok if the child is not supportive and is not singing a rhyme like a next-door neighbor or a child of distant relative whom you have never met or probably seen or will ever see in future but voiced by wise people in family.
You might be world to us but commoner to the world
It is OK to fail at times (not in exam ) and not be the best all the time
This is the most important and difficult to imbibe in child’s behavior but a must one.
I have seen esp. in some communities/families they are treated as Prince or Princess and kept confined to world of comfort, security and winning is must like virtues. However, when your child loses a game or unable to recite ABC like others in class, tell him/her that it is OK. We will get there…This is just the beginning and this behavior of yours and theirs will set the road ahead for years to come.
Invest QUALITY time not JUST HOURS
Try not to get tempted to open the laptop or get on to social site when your child wants to play with you or is playing with you. It is OK at times, NOT ALWAYS. Give them dedicated time as you will appreciate and long for the same in later years. Set up a good example for them to follow.
Build their adventurous and exploring appetite
Once my cook said - kids esp. girls should be born only in rich families so that they can get toys as they like to play and it hit me somewhere and I told her that child doesn’t understand the price of the toy and if it is engaging for them, child would just love it. For e.g. I used to give atta dough to my daughter to play as wasn’t comfortable giving play dough available in market as a starter. Of course, you need to keep an eye while they play.
Most importantly, watch yourself before you preach
You need to develop a positive outlook/attitude towards everything you do as Child is learning maximum from you. I know it could be hard from long tiring work day, or long journey or a long explanation call from home or maid taking leave the day your guests were arriving. But remember your child is watching you and your response/reaction to the situation. Your child is learning every minute from you.
I come from a thinking where I feel all successful people are not always happy but happy people are always successful because they are doing something right personally or professionally or both. I feel every child is capable and talented in his/her own way and can thrive to be a winner in their area of interest if they persevere. So, I would like to conclude by saying that our onus is just to teach them how to be happy and content in whatever they do as success I believe is relative and would be achieved by all in their own respective ways.
This article is an entry for BLOG-A-THON.
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