Shortly after my son was born, I became so obsessed with all the things related to baby and suddenly one day I realized that after becoming a mother I lost myself and my husband lost his wife, completely!
I was shutting him down for doing everything that I actually wanted him to do. I was being so cynical about his parenting skills. I criticised him for everything he did with and for the baby. I became so resentful towards him. On the other hand, he was annoyed beyond comprehension. My irrelevant and unnecessary shouting grossed him out.
Our house was mess, full of toys strewn around and the outings were disasters, so were we!!! The sheer amount of work and disturbed lifestyle had really taken a toll.
I wanted to figure it out what had exactly happened to the relationship. I decided to repair the rift a bit. I decided to take some actionable measures to fix this up.
Accept that it’s hard for both you. Parenthood doesn't come with the manual. It starts where all the prenatal classes ends. Nobody really tells you about how the next 10 years are going to be like. So it's better to sit and figure out what works for you.
Conflicts are natural but we have to hush it like an adult. It's ok to be resentful. A small apology and a sentence saying I didn't mean it doesn't do harm. Approach each other in a not conflicting way.
Accepting that life won't be the same as before helps a lot. You life with the baby may not be the fairytale you envisioned but amazing things happen when worked together.
Have some 'We' time. Be it's going for a movie keeping the baby with someone you trust or just being with each other when baby is asleep. Choices should be mutual!!
Learn to let go certain things. A messy bed haven't killed anyone yet!!
Try to talk about the things which are not at all related to the baby.
Having a baby can get you much more closer in the other way!!!
Also Read - How To Bond With Your Newborn
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