13 Mar 2015 | 8 min Read
Tanya Khubchandani Vatsa
Author | 28 Articles
Parenthood (and actually every day of my life) is more stressful when I haven’t gotten my 10 hours of rest. However, as a parent, all that’s left of those glory days of sleep are memories.
Baby sleep is as enigmatic but is also the key to feeling like you can make it through the day (along with those baby smiles, and giggles of course). My goal from the beginning has been to get my baby to try and sleep continuously, and trust me on this one, it is not easy!
Fortunately or not, I am an obsessive data junkie, and have spent almost 11 months now graphing everything in my child’s life. Yes, that actually means that when he wakes up I turn off my timer while running to his room to get him (and yes, I started in hospital on the day he was born). I have now reached a point where I can pretty much predict how my night is going to go, based on the kind of day my baby has had. Below is a list of some factors affecting baby sleep (these are all universal – if I made a list of the things keeping Riaan up at night it would include art being changed in his room that he has to touch and explore at 4:00 am).
Longest stretch of sleep by date (we got teeth last week as you can see)
(Note: For information on different ways to get your baby to sleep or on sleep training)
14 Things that affect baby sleep, and have a detrimental effect on your night:
1. Change of place: Apparently as a child, I slept easily and everywhere. I don’t know if it’s our new-age breed of hyper alert kids, or something I drank before I knew I was pregnant, but my son does NOT sleep everywhere. He barely sleeps anywhere!
Going on vacation, changing his room (even though we carry his travel crib that was once his normal bed), or even having him sleep in the same room as us, ensures that he will be up singing all night long. So if you are planning a vacation, try and take a bed your baby is used to, plan a longer stay (or an earlier night in bed), and nap when baby naps, so that you can also get some rest.
2. Change of person: I notice this more now than I did when my baby was younger, but he sleeps better and longer if my husband puts him to sleep. There have been times (especially now that I am in India and it is and endless wedding season), that I will get my baby completely ready for bed, go through his routine, nurse him, etc… And then instead of my husband (who usually puts him to sleep), his nanny will walk him to bed. He will go down easily with no fuss. However, he will wake up again and again and again, even after we come home and have walked him back to sleep ourselves.
3. Night routine: Having a consistent night routine for your baby is important as it signals to your little one that it is time for bed. Try to keep this as consistent as possible no matter where you are or what is happening. As a rule, I will not go anywhere until I have gone through this myself with my child not only because it’s important to our relationship and bonding but also because it is important to how well he will sleep at night! Our routine is – dinner, massage, bath, story time, nursing session (often with a lullaby), music (which stays on), burp and walk for a few minutes and then put down in bed to sleep.
4. Day sleep: The longer he sleeps in the day, and better he naps, the better he or she will sleep at night. This is universal because babies who are well rested are not overtired or overstimulated and can and will sleep better at night.
5. Baby Habits: If your baby is used to sleeping with you, putting your little in another room or even bed will change your sleep pattern. As will, putting him in your bed if he is not used to sleeping there (this may sound odd but is known to make your child want to nurse or wake up more just from the excitement of being around you). So set up habits that you can maintain, and while you cannot spoil a new born, an older child (4 months and up) is much more sensitive to any changes in routines and habits.
6. Teething: My regular readers are sure to be familiar with my teething woes. I am now at a point where all else being stable, I will check for a tooth and find one, when my child won’t sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch. We had weeks of sleepless nights when he started teething, however, they were not nearly as bad as when a tooth actually came. I probably lost weeks of sleep on the first tooth and now every new tooth costs me about 3-5 nights of sleep. We are 6 down, and have 14 to go! Yipeee (ugh)
7. However, I recently took Percolate (oxycodone), which is baby safe: It was prescribed to me during delivery, and that made him sleep quickly and through the night. I am not advocating drugging your children, but just want you to be aware that the things we put in even in us, can affect our nursing young lings (so stay away from caffeine when you want your baby to sleep).
8. Congestion: It’s heart wrenching to hear your little one wake up and struggle to breathe. If your baby has a cold or is perpetually congested (like mine, who inherited this gift from his father), make sure to clean your baby’s nose before bedtime. You can use the nose Frida, an aspirator or just make it a habit to give baby a night bath and clean out your child’s nostrils completely. (FYI, I never thought I would say that, let alone write it).
9. Temperature: Of your child and the room. An unwell baby is clingy and wants to be held by mommy, and a room too hot or cold will keep baby up at night. The rule of thumb is: baby should be in one more layer than you would be in a room of the same temperature. (Baby’s blanket, if any, should be thin and breathable and tucked in tightly).
10. Hunger: From day 1, we have learned that a hungry baby is a very cranky one. This does not go on forever, my 11 month old does not need a feed between 8pm and 6:00 am. However, when he is up, he’s screaming for mommy. Once you wean your baby off the middle of the night feeds and (this is key) they get used to this, you will get more sleep. However, if they don’t eat well in the day for any reason, they will be up at night.
11. Separation anxiety: When your child misses you, they will make you make up the time away! All through the night, momma. Be prepared,
12. Stranger danger: The much dreaded (or anticipated if you, like me, don’t like people taking your child from your arms because you use baby duty as a way to build up your biceps), stranger anxiety starts around 9 months, and how bad or mild it is just varies from baby to baby. However, if your child is alert and has been exposed to too many new people in a day, they will find a way to tell you all about it through the night.
13. Milestones: When kids learn new things, they want to practice it, over and over, in the middle of the night! They do get over this though, how long it takes just depends on how much you can wear them out in the day.
14. Sleep regressions: These do exist. Especially at 4 months when the baby’s sleep rhythms change to become more adult like and they go into light sleep before deep sleep (unlike before). This unfortunately will take some readjusting and time. This is often also a good time to look at sleep training for the parents who are willing to do so.
This list is not exhaustive but it does cover the top reasons babies wake up at night and will hopefully help you realize why your baby is up the next time that happens.
Good luck trying to catch some shuteye.
Also read more about: 5 Steps To Sleep Training Success