Every time I start the story with my baby, this time with a little twist this is about me!
I was second born in my family, I was, rather I am the spoilt brat of the household, my dad always ensured I had zero troubles and even after my marriage he ensures I do not have an inch of discomfort. With all the love and care, I only became adamant, stubborn and my way or highway types. No I am not blaming my upbringing just saying this is how I was!
I never understood how can someone be in discomfort because my daddy would always be the knight in shining armor and rescue me! Till today, he drops me to work whenever he can, so that I don’t have to get into the hustle bustle of booking a cab and travelling alone! (I know dad’s love!).
And then I became a mother and I had to reciprocate all this to my daughter, but honestly I was a little incompetent in the beginning, I used to lose my patience. Babies are very demanding, mine was extraordinarily demanding so I had to and had to do few changes in the way I operated myself.
There is a famous saying – “Childbirth is not difficult, motherhood is, because there is no epidural for it”.
Every day is a new learning, I discover myself daily, and I wonder why did I not make these changes before my baby was born!! To start with here are my learnings:
Patience – I have learnt that it is okay to let go of certain things and breathe, nothing is more important than having patience to deal with worst of the situation motherhood throws at you. With patience you can smile and deal with every problem
Being peaceful and calm – I know sometimes I get into situations, when I want to scream on top of my voice, but I do not! I have learnt that the only way I can teach my dd patience is by practicing it myself, and the sooner the better.
Mindfulness – I have been a practitioner of mindfulness since a long time, but then while motherhood keeps throwing challenges at me, I have realized that this technique has been a life saver. I do not fight with my husband over baby responsibilities, because I do not let my feelings rule over my head, I ensure I am present in every situation, I pause, think and then react.
Being Happy – I do not crib over the fact, that I work for long hours, and then the baby doesn’t let me sleep, because I am blessed to have this baby. I have learnt how to be happy, enjoy every moment with baby, and just laugh.
Asking for help and trusting others – Earlier, I believed that those who ask for help are incompetent, I was wrong!!! Those who ask for help, have trust in the other person, they can rely on the helper. So, whenever I am struggling I ask for help, be it my mom, my papa, my husband, my maid or my neighbor.
Organized living – Trust me, I have always lived in the most organized manner all my life (courtesy my fauji genes), but I relearned the whole new method of being organized in minimum time possible. Earlier, I would have the entire day to myself, now I barely have few hours, I have learnt that quality matters and not quantity. Now, I plan my entire week in advance, the menu, my week long office attire, i leave my stuff at the same place every day, every day seems so smooth with these arrangements.
Focus on spouse – As new parents, we often just focus on baby, and not on each other. I have learnt that it does not work like this, my hubby needs my love and attention as much as my baby does! After baby sleeps, we ensure we talk to each other about the day, how things are going on and we invest in our relationship. Trust me in long run, when you marry off your kids it is only your spouse that you will rely on, so invest in your relationship
I have received a lot of compliments from people around me about how they have seen a positive change in my behavior, and of course how they love the change.
My learnings are still on, will share more next time!
Share what has helped you in your journey as a mother.
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