What was once a room reserved for romance and intimacy now looks like it has been invaded by several baby care brands – Yes, we are talking about the bedroom, and husbands if you're are reading this, we have come to your rescue to help you reclaim it.
While the first few weeks of the baby being born are nearly always spent in a fuzzy cloud of excitement, love and joy – the reality of having a baby may have started to hit home for many new parents. Raising a newborn can be a lot of hard work. It definitely is worth it, don't get us wrong, but the lack of sleep, exhaustion from constantly looking after the baby can be overwhelming even for the calmest and most loving minds in the room.
Add to that mix the missing intimacy or even conversation between you and your wife on most days, and we can hardly blame you for feeling lost in despair. Take heart. What you are feeling is not only completely normal, but also expected in the first few months after having a baby. And while the doctor, may have given your wife and you the green light for getting it on after the six week mark, it doesn't necessarily mean that your wife is ready. Having a baby can be a huge change for her on many levels – physically and emotionally. So, even though you may be more than ready to have your wife back in your arms, it may help to take a few of these steps we have enlisted to help ease her back to “the way things used to be'.
1. Be Patient: Pregnancy and then labour can be a traumatic experience for a woman (also largely depends on how the pregnancy and labour was). Her body needs time to heal, which is why doctors usually recommend a six-week wait before resuming any kind of physical activity. However, emotionally, your wife may need more time. So, even though you miss your togetherness (and the sex too), it is time for you to be supportive and be patient as she settles into her new role as a mother, before she can go back to being just your wife. Your patience and kindness while she is dealing with this life change can help her tremendously to feel more like herself faster.
2. Rekindle The Romance: Yes, we know you have been together many years now, and you may feel like you don't need to prove your love or romance your wife as much anymore. But trust us this is important. After all who doesn't love to feel loved. So, we are not suggesting grand gestures of romance, but pay her a compliment when you can or exchange a hug or a kiss when you get a chance. Flirt with her and make her laugh, like you always have before the baby arrived. Chances are she is likely to respond similarly eventually, no matter how exasperated she feels in the initial days. And you never know when the mood may strike!
3. Plan A Date: While at home amidst the diapers and the burp cloths it's hard for your wife to think romance, let alone feel romantic. So, come to her rescue and plan that much needed date night once your wife has started to feel better physically. She will be glad that you did all the planning and took the effort to ensure the baby is looked after by family while you and her can get that much needed time together. It may not be an elaborate date night. But even going for a drive or a cup of coffee, will give you a chance to reconnect and feel more intimate with each other in the post baby days.
4. Help Out: Tending to a baby and night especially in the first few months may leave your wife with little time to do everything else. And if she is feeling exhausted, chances are she is not going to feel very happy or loving. So share the burden, and show her that you can help her lighten up the load. Be it the grocery shopping or the night time feed, try to take over some of the chores that need attention, and rescue her from managing everything. In fact you can even give her a chance to take a break so she can indulge in some me time, by taking over the baby for a few hours. She can indulge in a long warm bath, or get her nails done, and do the things that she enjoys too. What's more, women find a man about the house “oh-so-hot'
5. Give Her A Naughty Surprise: You have been flirting and have even gone out on a date, now its time to step up your game. Give her a little naughty surprise that will remind her of how much fun you had in the pre baby days and how you can reclaim the same, even after the baby has arrived. Remember, the key here is to not push her, but give her a glimpse of how much you miss being close to her. It is likely she misses you too, and is just as happy to be reminded of the good times you have had together.
The key is to let her lead the way back to your intimate days, and be supportive as she slowly settles back into the familiarity of your arms.