I Gave Up My Career After Baby: Confessions Of A Not-So-Guilty Anymore Mum

The news of Saural Simar Ka actress Deepika Kakkar planning to quit her acting career was doing the rounds. However, the soon-to-be celeb mum, who’s expecting her first baby in July this year, clarified and said that she is not planning to quit acting but may take a sabbatical from work once she gives birth. 

“I always wanted to be a housewife. Shoaib would go to the office and I would cook breakfast for him and take care of the house. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to work again.” Deepika further says, “It may be that I will not be able to work for the coming 4-5 years or if I get some good offer in the meantime, I will accept it. I want to give years to my child. So I can only say all these things till the baby is born,” said Deepika Kakkar.

Anushka Sharma is another celeb mum who’s planning to cut back on work so she can spend more time with her little daughter Vamika. At a recent event held in Bangalore, the actress said, “I enjoy acting but I don’t want to do too many films as much as I was doing earlier. I want to do one film a year, enjoy the process of acting which is what I like and balance my life out like the way I am, give time to family. I know my daughter is at this age that she needs a lot more of my time. Virat is a great father. He is very involved as a parent. But she is at that age, we have also seen that, she just needs me more. We recognise that. So, I have taken those steps.”

Being a working woman myself, I could relate to them and to so many other mums who have given up their career after a baby, or taken a sabbatical from work, so that they can raise their little ones. Believe me, it’s not an easy decision to make and most mums go through the guilt of giving up their flourishing careers. 

So Hello there, fellow guilt-ridden mums! I’m here to spill the beans on the guilt most career-driven women feel when they trade in their power suit for a diaper bag. That’s right, I’m talking about the guilt of giving up your career after a baby. 

Yes, I’ve been there too. There was a time when I used to strut down the office hallways like a boss, sipping on my cup of Darjeeling tea and basking in the admiration of my coworkers. I was career-driven, and the queen of productivity. I was about to don a director’s hat and direct my first show. But then, one day, a tiny human burst into my life, and I thought my world turned upside down faster than you can say “diaper blowout.”

Like everyone else, I confess that the guilt crept in like a stealthy ninja, making its presence known at every turn. It started innocently enough, with the occasional pang of guilt when I couldn’t attend an important meeting because of a pregnancy-related emergency. 

Then it escalated quickly once my daughter was born! Before I knew it, I was riddled with guilt for everything from not being able to reply to emails within three minutes (who am I kidding, it was more like three days) to accidentally wearing mismatched socks to a playdate. The struggle was real, my friends.

However, in my opinion, when you plan to give up your career after baby, more than guilt. it’s comparison, society, and self-doubt that are the three troublemakers who can wreak havoc on your sanity as a new mum and turn every innocent decision into a monumental guilt trip. Here’s how.

Things That Can Send You On A Guilt Trip When You Give Up Your Career After A Baby

Comparison 

It’s like the monster with its perfectly coiffed hair and its Pinterest-worthy family photos, who whispers in your ear, “Look at her, juggling a successful career and a perfect family. And what are you doing? Changing endless diapers and indulging in baby talk!” 

Society 

This is like the Sergeant, armed with societal expectations and a never-ending list of what a “good mum” should be. According to the Society Sergeant, a “good mum” is one who balances work and family effortlessly, bakes organic gluten-free cookies from scratch, and never forgets to send personalised thank-you cards for every playdate. 

Needless to say, I failed the Society Sergeant’s inspection on multiple levels, and yes, the guilt piled up like dirty laundry.

Self-Doubt 

You could say that self-doubt is like a sneaky Jester. This mischievous little creature liked to whisper sweet nothings like, “You’re wasting your education and talent by staying at home,” or “Your brain is slowly turning into mush while you sing nursery rhymes all day.” It took every ounce of self-control not to let the Jester get to me.

But here’s the thing: You are not alone in this battle. Motherhood is messy, unpredictable, and downright frustrating as much as it is hilarious at times. So, embrace the chaos and find the humour in your guilt-ridden moments.

Sure, I may have given up my dreams to direct a film and taken a sabbatical from work for around 3 years after my daughter was born, but today I am not guilty, because I gained a whole new set of skills. I could change a diaper with one hand while holding a conversation about the latest toddler fashion trends. I learnt to negotiate with a tiny dictator over the proper consumption of vegetables, employing tactics that would make seasoned diplomats proud. 

And let’s not forget the incredible multitasking abilities we develop as mums. I learnt to simultaneously fold laundry, plan a play date, and handle toddler tantrums, all while singing the ABC song at the top of my lungs. It’s a talent, really. Yes, multitasking, is a talent which I still use even today as a back-to-work mum.

And let’s not overlook the fact that being a stay-at-home mum has its perks too. I mean, who else gets to witness every milestone, from the first steps to the first words? I was like a front-row seat holder to the greatest show on Earth, and the joy that filled my heart when I saw my little one’s face light up with excitement was worth every moment of guilt.

Besides, let’s be honest, the corporate world can be a little exhausting. Endless meetings, office politics, and the constant pressure to climb the proverbial ladder can drain the life out of anyone. So, while my colleagues were navigating the corporate jungle, I was exploring the wonderful world of playdates, fairytales, Disney movies, finger painting, and spontaneous dance parties in the living room. Who needed a boardroom when you could have a pillow fort?

Now, I won’t deny that guilt will still creep in from time to time. It’s like an unwanted visitor who just won’t take the hint and leave. But you can always fight against guilt. For example, when the Comparison Monster reared its perfectly styled head, I reminded myself that life is not a competition. We’re all doing the best we can, in our own beautifully imperfect ways.

So, my dear fellow mums who’ve quit their jobs to raise their little cubs, raise your sippy cups and toast to the messy, imperfect, and wonderful journey of motherhood. Celebrate your ability to adapt, your capacity for love, and your superhuman talent for inventing interesting and healthy snacks for hungry little tummies at 6 a.m.

And remember, guilt may be an unwelcome companion, but it doesn’t define us. We are strong, capable, and fiercely dedicated to our little ones. Whether we’re pursuing a career, staying at home, or finding a balance in between, we are rockstar mums, and no amount of guilt can take that away.

So, the next time you find yourself tangled in the web of mum guilt for giving up your career after baby, take a step back, take a deep breath, and give yourself a big, guilt-free hug. You’re doing amazing, my friend. Embrace the chaos, dance like nobody’s watching, and let laughter be your guiding light on this wild and wonderful journey called motherhood.

Motherhood, career, and guilt may seem like a messy concoction, but in the end, it’s all part of the extraordinary ride we call life. For me, the guilt of giving up my career after a baby transformed into an opportunity to embrace laughter, embrace imperfection, and discover the joy in the chaos. 

Yes, my career may have taken a temporary backseat for a while, but the memories, the lessons, and the countless beautiful moments spent with my little girl made it all worthwhile.

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Cover image source: Instagram