Last night pretty late, I had a fiery verbal fight with the Mister. Siddy Boy too got afraid I guess as he suddenly went calm. It was then that I realized, Momma u gotta change your ways. Even fighting has to be polite now.
Nonetheless, the frustration came from having watched Piku, the Soojit Sircar film and somehow I watched that on impluse to check if I miss my dad. Most of u guys know that I hadnt even cried much on losing him and I wanted to check if I have self control.
But no I broke. Not in front of hubby but in the loo. I had to fake a pee break to cry. And crY I did.
All the memories came to bite me and I lost my cool. I next shouted at Mister for things he perhaps never even did.
Out of the corner of my eye, I Saw Siddy trying to hold my hand.. As if trying to sit me down... just like my dad did whenver his bad tempered pampered brat of a daughter lost her calm..
And I stopped immediately. I didnt sleep all night. I didnt have a feeling. I felt so useless. My Siddy looks like me and I look like my Dad. Is that why Siddy brings back Bauji to my mind daily..is that why I feel so filled despite my life not being full?
I have been a bad daughter at times. I fought a lot wth my Dad but we loved each other like mad. Will me and Siddy have that awesome rapport!?
The clock ticks.. And I await my answer.
#whatsidtaught #sidonbabychakra #kolkatamoms #babychakramoms #nostalgia